depressed!

i am badly traumatized...
my face has been really bad lately

or rather these past few months
stressed?

i am not too sure either...
everyone's commenting about it
makes me quite upset

i dun blame em
but it sort of affects my self esteem a lil...

do u believe it's heaven's will?

a friend related to me her sad story
story of her life
which makes me wonder...

marriage perhaps aint the best afterall...

my only plea...
NEVER EVER INTERFERE with other's family...

its damn sad.
in just a week
i heard 2 really heart wrenching stories
happening to people around me.

which makes me negative about the happenings around...
and maybe not THAT look forward to a married life
since ...
u never know what may become of u...

and him...
or her...


i hope for the best...

its really tough for life to go on at such states
and its really alot to handle for poor women!

MEN= JERKS?

Whats Singaporean Men becoming~

work today was quite enjoyable
and...

we are going yum cha tmr~

hohoho
this is really a FAT week
i shall start JF-ING Next week

JF= Jian Fei.

rush!

trying to complete my assignment by tonight
just got back hm...

afternoon shift today
weird feeling
today's staff weren't exactly fantastic
felt they were too occupied with their own agenda
not a gd thing

some of em were lost in their own world
left fending for emselvess...

bleahz...

went LAU PA SAT
with beibz
had cravings for DUCK SATAY since Audrey and me tried!~
HALAL!~

HAHA
Halijah shld try cuz she always ask me hw duck taste like whenever i eat duck rice

quite a few things to do...
sianz

chatting w Sean(Teo) nw!
haha
talking abt the good ol times...

new skin, new hair colour, new... new... new... anyway loving it!

i like the new skin
very cutie cutie sort...

a friend quoted once from his friend
who said

"when i was young, i used to hate those aunties who over- dressed or don on heavy makeup, now i know why..."

totally true
i used to hate CUTESY Stuff
but it seems like now
i go " wow so cute!" shriek!!!

ewwww~!



spent half the day at the hair salon
trimmed a lil
and splashed a new COLOUR!
cool!

but so not nurse-sy!

anyway
hoping i wont get reprimanded and ordered to do sth abt it!
cuz i kinda like it!

sometimes i pity those who are not keen to dress up
but sometimes i envy em
since they dun really spend much keeping up with trend and all

love clothes
love assessories
that can beautify myself
this, i somehow relate well with Guaz

our flair for stuff somehow sometimes does coincide
which we hardly acknowledge the similarity
and often choose to brush it off!

hur hur

kinda excited
cuz the trio are planning for our 2nd and 3rd trip
since...
8 years back?

we went on a HISTORICAL FIELD TRIP TO Thailand
when we were 17...

we will go for a short trip to KL
Right after school on FRI!
22ND Aug
(starting work on 25th~)

and Korea
we are going to the Natas
hoping to get the deal!

(wink wink)

thrilled!

once again
these happy moments makes me satisfied with life

times spent w him is equally blasting!
trying to be a better person
so does he...

yearning for something nice to come about
really really soon...

in bliss...

we spent great quality time together today!

i was rather excited about today
woke up at 11 plus
but he slept till 2 plus!

and when he woke up
i went back to nap!

so we wasted time waiting for each other to wake up
in the end only met at 5

had wanted to go kallang leisure park
T3
But it was too late
i needed to go town to get my phone

had some great buys today!

used the taka voucher choonz gave me to get a casio green watch
G SHOCK
in place of my broken green addidas
i wanted something to remind me of her when she leaves for australia in the next few months for as long as she wants!

we got Royce Chocs
beibz said it was damn good so i wanted to try!

HEAVEN!

Had dinner at this jap resturant at isetan scotts
great food
great service
wanted to ask Hanz out but poor him
gotten my no voice sickness!

he needs HEAT EXPLUSION!
GiVE him some tmr!

meeting em for a hair cut
and perhaps some colouring to my hair!

beibz and i went singing again
cuz i had a 20 bucks off voucher
expiring at end of july
which is next week

no booking
and they had no room left
and they actually gave us a DAMN BIG ROOM!
They used to hold competitions!

hahahaha
so fun!
it was really HUGE!

Anyway
i had fun
happy!

more good times!
assignment still untouched!!!

damn!
weather's been really bad
cant get the clothes dry

i hate the no- sun smell on my clothes
damn embarrasing!

just re- washed my uniform cuz it had that smell!

counting down to F.I.R'S concert

JAM HSIAO will be the guest!
HOHOHO

I wanna eat POPEYE CHICKEN!

They say its better than KFC
no chance to go yet!

Satisfying treat!

went for a nice PUNGGOL Nasi Lemak supper

food is quite good

but got shocked 2 times
by the kopi kia!
shout damn loud!

Perfect Cut

i am currently watching this series from Mobtv

i missed the everyday screening since 10pm is rather funny
either my dad watches the news at 10
or i am not back yet
or i am sleeping!


it is nice!
being in a plastic ward allows me to understand the procedures
and then again
there is some kinda storyline
which makes the series rather engaging!

thumbs up

updates...

busy with attachments and all
been at ECS For this week

catching up more this time round with routines and work
nevertheless there are still stuff which i think i am quite useless at

school's almost drawing a closure
in barely a month

somehow
there is some baggage we may be towing along
besides the bond and years... bla bla

i supposed expectations.
a lil worried
being outta touch
and what others will expect of me'

yet i wanna prove to people who never thought highly of me that i can

met Liza on the way back fews days ago
we decided to hang around for drinks since we coincidentally met on the train back

had a talk with her about life
work
future and all...

guess
some things need nt be spelt out that clearly
however
i am not exactly expecting or
anticipating

what the good things that may come along for me...

as usual
no BIG PASSION
yet i am kinda sad at how one's abilities can be determined by people who know nuts about whats happening and all...

like i said,

when u r new
people notice u for ur capability
people can say u are good
u are fast

when u are no longer new
people will not praise u for getting work done
for solving problem

people will try and find fault
or catch u at fault

perhaps even when u suggest something u probably get doubted...

thats life

thats why

i still dont look 4ward going back...

maybe because i know i do not have that many choices afterall...

looking 4ward to Sat
he is finally having a free Sat for me...

many planning going on
many dreams we share
hopefully we can accomplished together... :)

COUNTING DOWN...

32 DAYS TO

THE LOST WORLD!

(SCHOOL'S OUT)

i did a good deed!

i went amk hub to meet the guys for dinner
and when i got down the bus
i saw this old man with a walking aid
he is visually impaired

saw him walking with no help
i walked up to him and asked him where he was going
he said Toa Payoh

so i led him to the bus that will go TPY

And he asked me to wait with him till the bus comes
and he asked if i am in a rush
i told him its ok

it was quite a distance to the bus stand

and when we were reaching
i saw the q moving
and the bus is here
and the line was moving quite fast
but uncle was walking quite slowly!

so i told him to stand there first while i run and stop the bus

so i RAN AND the bus actually closed the door already
i waved really hard at the uncle and he opened
i told him to wait for me while i bring a blind man over

so he waited...
the uncle thanked me
so did the driver

i am happy!

Hanz said
the people on the bus must be wondering what the hell they are waiting for!

she is seriously ill...

my hp...
she is in critical condition

sent her for repair on fri
when the lady opened up the back cover,
she was like

"oh, ur phone is a corosion set!"

nabey
there is a red indicator where they can tell if it actually came in contact with liquid substance~ and the best thing! It doesnt cover corosion sets for WARRANTY~

So she opened up
showed me my MOTHER(FUCKER)BOARD...

AND said it is in A BAD STATE!

corroded
rusty and all!

and there is high chance it wont get better
and may get worse!

ok...
trying my luck
tmr i will know

i need a new phone i guess
f* broke

the damn tax is pressing me for money!
and with surging fuel charges
taxi fare hike of 30cents

whats the world gonna become!
i am sinking into poverty

maybe i should start selling tissue papers
at hawker centres
seems to be doing well
at $1 for 3 packets!

nice song...

Deutschland Sucht Den Superstar - Cry On My Shoulder lyrics

If the hero never comes to you 
If you need someone you're feeling blue 
If you wait for love and you're alone 
If you call your friends nobody's home 

You can run away but you can't hide 
Through a storm and through a lonely night 
Then I'll show you there's a destiny 
The best things in life they are free 

But if you wanna cry 
Cry on my shoulder 
If you need someone 
Who cares for you 
If you're feeling sad 
Your heart gets colder 
Yes I show you what real love can do 

If your sky is grey oh, let me know 
There's a place in heaven where we'll go 
If heaven is a million years away 
Oh, just call me and I'll make your day 
When the nights are gettin' cold and blue 
When the days are gettin' hard for you 
I will always stay here by your side 
I promise you I'll never hide 

But if you wanna cry 
Cry on my shoulder 
If you need someone 
Who cares for you 
If you're feeling sad 
Your heart gets colder 
Yes I show you what real love can do 

But if you wanna cry 
Cry on my shoulder 
If you need someone 
Who cares for you 
If you're feeling sad 
Your heart gets colder 
Yes I show you what real love can do 

What real love can do 
What real love can do 
What love can do 
What love can do 
Love can do



Song lyrics | Cry On My Shoulder lyrics

this is the original
it is a live show
Dutch Superstar it seems



going for THE DARK KNIGHTS LATER...

SBS...

WATS SBS?

Si Bei Sian

one of self- created acronyms!

this week's posting is damn SBS

OT

no much things for me to do,
since we are damn useless in a SCRUBBED ZONE!~~

school's gonna end really soon
my aimless future is starting soon

many things on my mind
wanna do many many many things
have plans with him
plans for further education
plans to a green pasture

but all these requires $$$

Anyway
thats life
perhaps achieving something outta ur own efforts makes the process more satisfying!

how i wished we were born with a silver spoon
then we need not worry abt these money woes...

INCOME TAX
gotta pay...

dropped the damn hp in the TOILET BOWL YESTERDAY!

^&*$%$#%$%^&%@$%@

Blew dry with hair dryer
but the camera cannot work nw!

fuck it man
gotta bring for repair tmr

hopefully the guy entertains me!~

i need a life

had a bad headache for 2 consec days
yest was the worst day ever

and after blowing my hp
i went for a nap
and i slpt from 5.30pm till this morning!

AHAHAHAHAH Shiok

Jam Hsiao

Lost...

it's my downtime again
every now and then
that time of the year

(not menses)

where u will feel a lil helpless
hopeless
useless
meaningless

what do i want in life?
with just a lil more than one month
i will go back and fulfill my 2 years bond
what do i want achieve there

i dunno...
like i told Miss Q
I have got no great passion
in nursing
in Sgh
in ophthalmic settings...

yes i dread going back
cuz i love free time where i can spend quality time w people i enjoy being with
the freedom
the fun
but

going back will put an end to poverty

i am lost
as to what is my next step gonna be like...

i do not like the new governing power
i do not agree with how things are done...

i hate her gluttony face
and her awful decay smell

i hate the fact we can't talk to her nicely...
w/o being superficial

and i hate the way she OVER- REACTS
When we mentioned things she hates to hear

i miss how it was back then
where i would bicker with the highness then...

and i miss how she would end up talking to me first after every bickering sessions
and how i would purposely approach her when she is occupied to psycho her to grant my requests...

life goes on
we move on
acceptance to reality
accommodation to cruelty

it's my life...

no sadness
no disappointment
just resisting change

check out the Bday loots!

the bouquet of flowers were HUGE!

And thats PART 1 of my photo...
its 2am and i gtta wake up at 6 for work...

it;s ALMOST National Day...

my block being the RC block...

has its own ELABORATE WAY every National Day...

Why Elaborate...
Firstly,

they PURPOSELY make ALL residents put up a flag
to show APPRECIATION for the nation...

the keyword: MAKE

hence we have got no choice
those flats that were accessible,
the members or shall we say vlounteers or grassroots members go hanging la

but since i lived in the corner flat
they just gtta knock knock knock

My parents are really funny people
they dun get enthu at all with matters related to Our nation
except when we get payouts!

and we never hang flags until these few years
when every neighbourhood seems so eager to show their love for the nations....

and i guess my parents grew older and relentlessly gave in to the urging

last year they AUTOMATICALLY hung up
we haven gt people knocking yet...

but as i was sitting at the void deck and chatting w beibz yesterday night

i commented how superficial it is
just bcuz we have a rc
and u "zng" the block till so "Flag-gy"

and what about the opposite blocks!
SO PLAIN!

Lame!

anyway
my assignment is almost done up.
openly admitting that its done

(deadline tmr)

so i hope people can stop interrogating me about my progress

it has been an ultra irritating week

i feel people are not so sensitive towards my thoughts and feelings
but then again
i could have misunderstood their goodwill...

but sometimes
its a triggering point

all these while
i accept every comments made
and until a point
i realised things are not what they see

i have my reason for doing this
and sometimes
those assumptions made about me are not explanatory

yes call me sensitive
but the least b4 anyone made a comment about things we do
spare a thought about us.

i guess that incident probably made someone really pissed with me
and i wasn't trying to target him or anything
but i just dunno how to put in words for them to know

forget it
how others wanna see me as
what others wanna say
i absolutely have no say or control

like how i always lived with my principles

as long as i get things done
i do no wrong
whether u like me or not
i cant be bothered

say whatever u want
since i have always been judged, misunderstood by many since young due to my exuberance...
whatever they see is how i portrayed myself

instead of changing their perception
maybe i should change myself...

i shall take some pictures of the wonderful lil gifts i recieved last week

provided i have some time...

here's the new national day theme songs 2008

who are you?

looking around the people we know
who are the ones whom we really know?

who are the ones who will stand by u no matter what
and the ones who knows how r u feeling w/o even us saying?

who are the ones who will accept u for who u r...

the ones who do not bear grudges
or even the ones who will not sweat over small issues...

and most importantly one who will not doubt u!

THANK YOU!

It has been a BUSY AND TIRING week for me...

WED...
MY BIRTHDAY!

Being older, and more realistic
i stopped getting excited over this day

however
my loved ones are sucha darling to me!

Tues Night
i asked Beibz out for a dinner
At Din Tai Feng
BUT'

I acc. Audrey to some place at Raffles
and two of us plus Maureen and Karen ate a REALLY FULL meal at Soup Bowl

we skipped the xiao long bao
we went KTV instead
thinking we will spend some time alone,
b4 12mn
smses started coming in...

and the BIGGEST SURPRISE CAME!
My friends and my bf, bak kak already

and they actually surprised me with a bday cake...
i was so shocked
i cried...

haha

and the next day was just as fun
went Waruku for dinner
and we went Singapore Flyer...

quite scary
but quite magnificent view!

Beibz was so scared! hahahaha

and i gt another HUGE SURPRISE
My gifts with a LARGE- XXL bouquet of flowers were in Han's boot!

anyway
i am too busy to upload the pic

but nevertheless,

THANK U SO MUCH!
Those who wished me

Those who bought me gifts

THANK YOU!

I recieved quite a few pressie...

My bf
Guaz
Hanz
EB
Choonz
Audrey
Judy
Cheryl
Diana
Karen
Maureen

THANK U EVERYONE!!!

Anyway

i am truely GRATEFUL to all those who stood by me
during the 7 months that i am in sch!
Not easy at all

many bad times
but i am almost reaching the finishing line

i am thankful
i had a glorious race!
enriching
i am happy that besides procrastinating
i can still work hard!

Thank You everyone who made this possible

its sad that i have to go back...
i have to get used to the routines again
its time i think about my future...

2 years
of bond
many things may change
many things may happen

what my future lies...

Adv Dip(Ophthalmic) 2008

here are the pictures we took that day

really wacky







my groupmates
the last two photo was some informal shots
i told em to be ECSTATIC That the presentation is OVER

And the last was to pretend we are not ready yet
but they dun seem to act well...

ahem haha

Sumini's Groupmates






battle of the blacks-whites
*my idea*

PROUD!!!

AND Now
the usual 1000 hand Buddha!

haha






i can't stand the butt photos too
but then quite cute la

lastly
i just have to show this!

did u notice what i notice?


i love this pic
cuz our dear Sumini is so naturale!

hahahaha

opps


This Friday
we will be heading to the RICE TABLE FOR DINNER
more pic by then!!!

my feelings

Almost over...
this is gonna be a busy week
cuz besides the assignment due-* which we tried desperately to plead with her for extension*

i wanna let my hair down and enjoy as much as i could

sometimes
i find it really puzzling whats on some people's mind...
i know there are certain things we may not see eye to eye with
to alot of people... in different aspects
so difficult to please everyone

maybe
we all have different expectations
and when things dun turn out the way it is...
everything becomes ugly too...

"let bygones be bygones"

but does that sentence really helps
i tired it
i managed to leave everything that has happened behind
i choose to look at things on a broad spectrum
why can't the others

if they choose to dwell over the minor issues that happened N- Years ago
or contantly repeatedly bring up the bad that we have done
then well,
u can't move on...
it's not easy saying to move on
we forgot about ourselves when we said something about others...

unfortunately
i am a lil disappointed with how certain things are
all the good
all the help
and the small lil gestures we did outta love
does not weigh over something that has happened 100000 years ago...

all this small things we dun sweat over
but it hurts others
when its frequently talked about
even when u said its the past...

*it's just an evaluation of situation*

in case others get misunderstood
its not u

just an overview of something i discussed with a friend lately...

she may not see this
but
i wanna let her know she is the best person i have met at that scary place
and she certainly brightens up my life
and taught me alot alot in the months that we hang out...

one who doesn't sweat over small issues
like literally
NEVER!

one of the solace i would say...

luckily we have each other...

if u watched the million dollar star
Chao Ji Xing Guang Da Dao II
This phenomenon of the 2nd season ALISA

Vocals very powerful
pretty face...
not to be belittled

I HATE LIT R/V
I dunno what the heck am i doing
supposed to get down to serious biz

I facebook
friendster
blog
call Judy up supposedly to check with her about our research proposal
and we ended up chatting over the phone

i want to go MUSTAFA SO Badly now
get away from the books for awhile

waiting for my bf to get back to me...

Wed is coming
not very excited tho
but the rest seems rather secretive
i got a feeling i may know whats going on...

hur hur hur!

Happy Belated Birthday EB~

we had a belated celebration with EB
Met her and hanz at YCK mrt first
we went VIVO
and then had dinner (FULL) AT modesto

then ktv at shenton way

damn sad i din bring my camera on friday
the class had so much fun taking funny pic

BEAMING WITH PRIDE!
I suggested some lame poses
which i cant wait to post!

research proposal is sucha chore!

went Hanz place and both of us WHIPPED up a few good dishes!~

it's ALMOST over

we went thru the research presentation!

everything went well
we were running outta time getting the slides ready in the library and
we were late printing out the copies for the lecturers

but we MANAGED TO DO it

anyway

i guess the most exciting and happier moment on my part
was suggesting the grps to take pictures
and I HAD SO MUCH fun

and it makes me feel nostalgic
and i sms the whole class about how i felt

everyone is special
I'm glad i made many happy in this short period of time

waiting for the pictures Audrey took
saw some from Su's facebook
and i will load

I am running outta time now
gonna rush to shower
meet Hanz at NTUC
we wanna watch the GOLDEN MELODY AWARDS live at his place later
so gonna go buy food to prepare
we are cooking
but the show starts at 5.30

and while waiting for the two to come we will whip up some dishes!
hahahaha

anyway
i will upload pics tonight!

i can breathe a lil more..

this week has been an "event-full" week

we have got SO MANY IMPORTANT things on our minds!

ESP IN PARTICULARLY ME!
I have got such a SMALL WANDERING MIND...

I am really in a foul mood lately
i am just too worn out
i lacked the usual 8 hrs of slp i used to have at least
and i have this thing on my mind ALL THE TIME
that i cant sleep well w/o thinking about the health assessment and research
but sadly it din help me lose any appetite.

TODAY!
I finally completed my HEALTH ASSESSMENT
i was THE FIRST
in class to go thru
i was too slow
and only started ABDOMEN when 8 mins left~
i sped up
and i missed out some small stuff in the end
nevertheless i am glad it's over
somehow

emotionally overwhelmed throughout this process

i have been excessively intolerant to certain people during this period
which i thought they could have been more sensitive to me
but it is over
and i know they all meant well
and are sincere to help me

THANK U AND SORRY

i thought Miss Q was really sweet.
After the last session when we talked...
where the innermost emotions were touched on
she probably can see where i am coming from
and probably understand my ignorance or wackiness u better

the part where she purposely assessed me once more yesterday is nothing much
but she called me up early this morning
told me she is on MC and wished me all the best

i was surprised but THANKFUL...

I WENT FOR a long nap
and just woke up...

now gonna get the books out to read about RESEARCH!