WaH! I aM SO daMN hOT!~

Grumbles Rumbles

Name:
Location: Singapore

Friday, June 27, 2008

overwhelmed

i am feeling so tired now,

i cannot explain my feelings
and the emotional outburst

the talk made reminded me once again my true inner self
the true identity i hold
the outer shield i have been armoring myself with...
the true self i refused to let others see through


i need to learn like i always say to be better
and i know there is alot to be done
esp on my part...

that's why i always emphasized that people who like me will like me
and those who dun never will...

i made it seem like i dun give a damn
i dun need so many of them anyway

and those around me outshine
and i truely am grateful for all these...

deep down inside
it hurts to be mistaken
it hurts to be misunderstood

thats my vulnerable innermost feelings i don't want others to know
it never was apparent to me
however as i grew older
i came to realise the reality of life

its never too late
i will try

i am happy for her understanding
and believing in me

the whole journey has enlightened me alot alot
though there were good and bad times
i still enjoyed and remember the good times

i am surprised
yet satisfied and proud of myself to have come this far
and prove myself against all odds

my motto still remains unchanged
i still believed that as long as i get things done and i deliver quality and quantity
i do not need to please anyone

however
i will be more responsible to my every lil actions


thats life


sorry to those whom i have hurt unknowingly
it was never intended
and i never felt good

Thursday, June 26, 2008

another new found fave...



she is coming in OCT for a concert
hoping to catch hers
since she is a real talent vocalist!

Complacency?

SINGAPORE:

An airport security lapse has raised further concerns about complacency and what has been done to strengthen procedures.
ADVERTISEMENT

The passport mix—up — which allowed a man to fly out of the country using his son’s passport — is the third security breach in six months.

Mr Ang Heng Soon managed to check in for a Tiger Airways flight after mistakenly using his son’s passport.

The mistake was not spotted in spite of four levels of checks, enabling him to board his flight to Vietnam. He came back later after spotting his own error.

"This is yet another incident of human error, but it’s within the same home team, and we’ve seen a build—up of various incidents within various departments and this is troubling," MP Indranee Rajah said.

"It’s really two things, as I see it — one, the complacency that has entered into the day—to—day routine. And two, the sense of a lack of danger that if something can go wrong, it will," she added.

The MP intends to raise this and other wider security concerns in Parliament.

"If incidents like this continue, then it sends a signal that there are chinks and loopholes that can be exploited, and it would serve as an encouragement to people who want to test our security," she pointed out.

Law lecturer Mahdev Mohan at the Singapore Management University agreed. He added that while there cannot be a perfect system, officers need to be very aware of the wider implications of such human errors.

"To some degree, I think we need a transparent system of accountability where either an independent body is tasked purely — and by independent body, I mean persons outside the home team — into looking at procedures and seeing possibilities of slip—ups and perhaps even testing the system from time to time to see what are the loopholes in the system.

"And if the reports of this were made publicly available, there would be a level of scrutiny that would come to bear."

While investigations are ongoing, Home Affairs Minister Wong Kan Seng said scrutiny and supervision on the ground is being tightened. — CNA/ac



What exactly is COMPLACENCY...?~

This has been repeatedly used following numerous debates since MAS SELAMAT'S escape.
Just few weeks back the 2 criminals from subordinate court,
and now the passport "joke"


"a feeling of quiet pleasure or security, often while unaware of some potential danger, defect, or the like; self-satisfaction or smug satisfaction with an existing situation, condition, etc."

SOURCE: www.dictionary.com


with regards to such sensitive issues, i guess i need not comment much
but it does brought me linking this COMMONLY USED word in 2008 WITH my everyday life.

came across a friend's blog and was so amazed when she blogged about the no. of years she had been with her bf!

Gosh!

*SALUTE*

After some issues
some unhappy encounters lately,
again i came to realise i haven been that great to people around me either

i expressed my sincere apologies to those that i may have hurt unknowingly
and i totally understood that i may have pissed ten thousands of people with my abruptness and my deemed wackiness

which i have been so ignorant that people may not like this
and they may have been hurt or offended.

and after feeling some kinda hurt that i have hurt some people
life still goes on
and those truely nice ones showed grace and mercy on me
and accepted me for who i am

and just today
i realised the person whom i may have hurt the most are those who are the dearest of all to me...

i cant possible rank them based on their importance

but i am guilty that

for some reasons which i till now cannot explain yet
i tend to hurt those whom i love more
and those who i believe i cannot live without...

and the most shameful thing is,
they still love me, accept me and forgive for who i am

and i have always gave excuses for such behaviours
i attribute these blessings of nice people for my behaviour too!

crap, yes I KNOW!

i always felt that deep down inside
they accept me for who i am cuz i am nice and good to them when i am normal...

but now,
i feel quite bad

my mummy
my bf
my close friends...

they all had been shouted at by me
made fun of,
teased
humiliated
embarrassed
laughed at
scolded

whatever unkind things that u do when u are angry
gosh!

I am so inhumane

i called Beibz
and apologise for what i have done
i told him i din know i was so rude
and he said his reasons
and gosh

i realised i have hurt him too many
but he seldom and hardly flared at me
for fear of offending me...

i know they have been so tolerant towards me
and i believe their tolerance and accommodation gave me more strength to be a tyrant
and i know its not nice

i will change for the better
please believe and please be reassured that i love u all deep deep down inside
pride and ego made it hard for me to admit my mistakes

but having witness and gone thru some unhappy encounters
i realised i haven been very nice either

and i should change b4 i see others...


thats complacent...

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

PAY DAY!

Sumini and i excitedly (just like the results) went DNA to retrieve our pay slips!
HO HO HO

Surprisingly
after talks that its pro-rate,
we got it more than we expected
which is good la

but quite worried about HEALTH ASSESSMENT
cuz i dun really know the steps well

Sunday, June 22, 2008

EXCELLENT Bummer!~

i am sucha absolute BUMMER!

I slept almost the whole of today
considering the fact that i reached home only at 6AM!

We went for some luxurious spending yesterday
when pay day is still 3 DAYS AWAY! Can't wait!

JUNE!
WE ALL LOVE JUNE AND DEC DON'T WE!

The lazy trio
We all seems to coincidentally had some back problem
mine was quite annoying last week
having attacks that i can't seem to walk well esp my left leg
and Hanz got it yesterday too

so we went WAN YANG for Back massage
WASTE MONEY
NO THERAPEUTIC EFFECT
AND fucking painful!
he claims its the least force he was using on me!~

we had spizza for dinner
nice wooden oven baked or whatever u call it!~
thin and crispy crust
just like the ones in Modesto!

i LOVE IT!~

Beibz joined us awhile later
and we headed foR ktv!
my voice somehow regained a lil

except that i still cant whoo hoo well~

the reason i came back late
i jio the trio to go for half boiled eggs at hk cafe!
haha

beibz went back
and trio headed for some early breakie!
tired!

ended up accomplishing NOTHING!
YES Totally NOTHING!

I am supposed to read up on HEALTH ASSESSMENT WHich is a week later
and my research i still have got NO IDEA!

BLEAH~

I HAVE GOT no drive in working hard!
i always fall asleep while reading
or studying

Thursday, June 19, 2008

so sweet...



amazing



check out her turns!

ha- hello... durians anyone?

i reached home quite early compared to the past few days

headed straight to the sofa and watched some tv
heard someone at the door

interestingly he did not knock
neither did he say hello anyone there
initially i thought it was my neighbour who is getting his maid to open the door or sth
and then this man just kept

ha- hello...
ha- hello...

ha- hello
in some melodious pitch

i headed to the door
and this man w a malaysian accent was selling durians!

OMG
KARAUNG GUNI
Tissue Paper
tidbits
change rubbish chute or pipes
cable vision

now there are people selling DURIANS LOR!
KAMPUNG DURIANS he said
guranteed satisfaction!
i din buy la of course

and just few weeks back a monk came
i was reading papers
and i hear Amitabha several times
and when i looked up a monk was at my door
and totally malu
cuz i was still in PJs
and sitting quite manly
think he probably saw my panties haha

and he bowed and said Amitabha again
asking for donations@!
w.t.h

my dad says the abbot already says they do not allow monks to go door to door!
cheater i bet!

anyway
i napped since 5 plus
till almost 9

gotta complete my work
cuz miss kiu rejected my work saying no in text citations@!
tmd

and tgif!
SO TIRED!

sianz...

hate the life now
HEALTH ASS
RESEARCH
coming up

but i am slacking alot alot
like as if the stressful exams ended just yesterday
and i need more rest!~

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

we want and we demand PEACE~

I HATE THIS

nothing has happened
nothing very much bothered me
and i thought life just goes on as it is!

but i can't stand people out there who just wanna poke their nose into our affairs
or shall i say SOW DISCORD AMONG US!

i deleted what i intended to say

all i can say is
PLEASE MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS
YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE

i hv so many things i wanna say
i wanna scold
but

sigh

anyway
get out of our lives!

kpo chee

i know what i am doing
don't assume i intentionally did it on purpose

i have looked at the time factors before i did it
i think u are probably sore you were not invited.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

hurry hurry!

i slept the whole of yesterday!
woke up at 2.45pm

watched a lil of tv
and went back to sleep at almost 4pm

and all the way till 7.30pm!
i am so tired gosh

god knows why!
anyway
i gotta be quick
cuz i am meeting the guys for a swim
sooooooooooooooooooooo long since we had a dip together!

avoiding the sun abit
and i gtta finish up my work first
tmr's posting at the ward!
afternoon shift!
cool

anticipating!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

mixed feelings!

i am not sad...

i am just tired maybe

bad headache...
tired
feel somehow worried but not sure about what.

*OMG Sumini just called me,
results OUT!
So frigging scared and excited
cannot concentrate
hands turned cold
and shaking like parkinsons
and i called and sms all those whom i can rem
and haha i made em all so scared too!

HAPPY
at least we all made it!
Guaz said i worked hard
and sleep hard too!

haha so true

anyway
my dear sweet frens had wanted to celebrate my bday w me
we had planned to go sentosa resort
but both weekends near my bday i am stuck with important work!

damn it
i so wanna go
sigh
told em to forget it

the last weekend in june i gotta read up on HEALTH ASSESSMENT
i am the first in class to be tested
and the same week on fri we have a presentation
the research proposal


the next two days, weekend b4 my bday
i got a submission of written assignment of proposal
and the entire week gtta go for attachments therefore cannot afford midnight oil to write, gotta do it by weekends i hope i can....

sigh

bad timing.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

FON...

Its just so ridiculous...
i find it irritating
and i just cant seem to understand why

made me a lil remorseful over the times when i have been blunt, abrupt and ill- mannered.

promised that after 12mn today
i shall be nicer and considerate to my mannerism.

something not very nice happened
we all react differently to situations and feedbacks
however
i felt what happened today shouldn't happen at all

nevertheless
we shall just keep quiet in future
but feel a lil sorry
for behaving like that makes the rest of us wanna avoid inflicting unknown, questionable and unnecessary hurt...

i felt that i would have flared up
or shouted in some offensive vulgarities if i was still the untamed girl few years back in which is still does at times but controlling

after these kinda issues
we tend to avoid contacts as much as possible to prevent further hurt or damage
but like i have been rather truthful
i spoke about how i feel and how i think
its up to u to accept it or not

i dun need u to agree with me
but
its so flawed now...

felt so sorry for this nice lady who accepted my wrongs and faults
and so sorry for her she has to go thru what happened just now as we all know she is totally not at fault!

poor her
she has to tolerate it still...

luckily i have a interesting
easy going and play along partner...

phew.

Monday, June 09, 2008

funny!!!



in case u dunno who FIR Is...

xiao S is so wacky!

appreciation...

hear complaints here and there
everyone of us may have differing views about things

after a week of posting
come to find that ECS is not a bad place to work in afterall
many differences in the individuals there
unique everyone of em
i dunno em as well as the rest but i find work there quite enjoyable
after learning and familiarizing with the ropes,
i believe its comfort...

a lil fickle
after appreciating more being there
i hope to change my posting place somehow lei
haha

gotta start consolidating the intra ocular presentation stuff
The partners at work are a nice bunch of people as well


i went for dinner with Guaz ytd
at amk central
and was telling him i am practicing hard for the FIR concert
learning their songs and he said i siao!
haha

Learnt from Hanz earlier on MSN that his Jack Russell Pancake(YUP WEIRD NAME)
was Knocked down by a car, HIT AND RUN~

Ouch...
a lil shocking
a lil sad
played with Pancake once
Quite shy and obedient
and compared to Echo(bf's Jack Russell)
she is more tame


hit and run somemore~

our dear friend once ordered Mac delivery,
gobbled up his fries and walked away

when he came back,
Pancake ate the WHOLE MCSPICY!
With the box left on the table!
HAHAHAHAHA

Mcspicy is so spicy lor
with the chilli oil...

hahaha
maybe besides HIT AND RUN,
she died of complications
from the Mcspicy

Tribute to PANCAKE
APRIL 08- JUNE 08 (IN HIS HSE LA... ACTUAL BIRTHDATE NOT SO SURE!)


IF U see closely
she is so ladylike w her pose
her hind legs are like cross legged





like her body,
total white

ECHO
the crazy dog my bf has
cute view of him resting his head on the mattress looking at my bf...
watching him do work...


lame
things i do with my PIG...
ZHU ZHU
Ha ha
got this cute toy in the YEAR OF THE PIG

it has this really adorable look
my bf wore this scarf over the neck
then played DS lite

and when i washed it
i hung out and looks like she is tanning hahaha







This is a Barbie File Judy's daughter lent her
Judy dun really like good made in China
her cute daughter did this...



ok.... work time

Sunday, June 08, 2008

songs sharing!



10 mins long canton song by leo ku medley of the years greatest hits by many singers



and the chinese version



part 1



supposed to do the intra ocular stuff but i am you- tubing!

getting stoic...

finding life that tad lil boring...
not much happenings
and even if there is...
those minor lil nitty gritty issues doesn't seem very bothersome now...

thats the word- stoic

less emo
less feelings
not very much bothered

but still i have undone things piling...

let's talk about something more happy
its been awhile again we last hang out in pretty clothes
last weekend i had class bbq
and last last we had a meal along choonz...

pretty clothes but threesome~
haha

anyway
after telling Cheryl and judy how good Ajisen Ramen taste!
and after Cheryl confirmed the yumminess
i had craves for it
we went Ajisen yest for the famous Miso Ramen
My funny bf chose some funny Kim chi Korean noodle in a Japanese restaurant!

we headed for some fun in the arcade
Arcade in Bugis is quite interesting
not that we are childish,
but some games are seemingly interesting from the way others played
those who haven been to the arcade for awhile should take a walk there sometime
and there are amazingly many new inventions

mario kart is quite cool
u can take a pic of urself
and then race like daytona
and u can throw objects to hinder their speed

we went TCC for some quiet moments
and quality time






it was good
the only bad thing was
he took a latte drink
and i hate coffee
and i cant stand the smell
yet he kept talking facing me
and i inhale all the
coffee breath! ewwww... haha

i realised i haven took much pics with my new hair

anyway
took some lame pic in OT last week too

Maureen and I in TSSU
n Cheryl came to ask us to take some pics for fun
and some were taken in the changing room...







the top in the TCC pics is a new top
got it from Bysi
and the misleading poster reads 30% sale
only to find out that if u donate their old clothing and in exchange!
Went Southaven and got another top
and initially was attracted to the 20 bucks rack
but nabey
the new ones lured me into getting one!
GSS IS of no use
ended up buying the normal prices ones!

My anticipated band is coming!
F.I.R Is holding a concert on 8TH AUG!~

YUP
I got the tic!




5 OF US WILL be going
HANZ
GUAZ
BEIBZ
CHOONZ

Realised i gave my friends names and ends with z!
haha

thats what i call em really!
haha

anyway!

here's a low key song i kinda like
heard it over the radio awhile back

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

just to kill time...

Believe it or not.
Woman has Man in it;
Mrs. Has Mr . In it;
Female has Male in it;
She has He in it;
Madam has Adam in it;
No wonder men always want to be inside women!

Men were born between the legs of a woman, yet men spend all their life and time trying to go back between the legs of a woman....
Why?
BECAUSE THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME




Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now...
I never looked at it this way before:


Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN?


MENtal illness
MENstrual cramps
MENtal breakdown
MENopause
GUYnecologist
AND ..
When we have REAL trouble, it's a
HISterectomy.

very tired with work
quite a bit of stuff on hand
but post exam blues are still very much there
stopping me from working hard

supposed to do some lit r/v
write an official sponsorship letter for our research
and do the case studies for the postings
and i haven even started
an health assessment as well

damn

promised myself this week
i hope i can
but everyday
i reach home feeling oh so tired
and end up sleeping on the couch!

hate this...