Lost...

it's my downtime again
every now and then
that time of the year

(not menses)

where u will feel a lil helpless
hopeless
useless
meaningless

what do i want in life?
with just a lil more than one month
i will go back and fulfill my 2 years bond
what do i want achieve there

i dunno...
like i told Miss Q
I have got no great passion
in nursing
in Sgh
in ophthalmic settings...

yes i dread going back
cuz i love free time where i can spend quality time w people i enjoy being with
the freedom
the fun
but

going back will put an end to poverty

i am lost
as to what is my next step gonna be like...

i do not like the new governing power
i do not agree with how things are done...

i hate her gluttony face
and her awful decay smell

i hate the fact we can't talk to her nicely...
w/o being superficial

and i hate the way she OVER- REACTS
When we mentioned things she hates to hear

i miss how it was back then
where i would bicker with the highness then...

and i miss how she would end up talking to me first after every bickering sessions
and how i would purposely approach her when she is occupied to psycho her to grant my requests...

life goes on
we move on
acceptance to reality
accommodation to cruelty

it's my life...

no sadness
no disappointment
just resisting change