the calling?

i made a decision last night.
it hurts
had a good cry over it...

sometimes i wonder,
what is it that i really want?
and after talking it out,
i realized we came a long way.

so many tears cried
countless precious moments and fond memories...
a new record on the books...

i start to wonder...
the occasions i remembered i joined you in the weeps
the days when i crack my head for solutions and ideas for u...
and the many times i wished u could be what i want u to be...
the times when i cried behind ur back
with u pretending or perhaps unconscious that it matters alot to me.

i dun wanna be seen as taking it lightly
or treating it as a threat
i need to sort out my feelings
straighten out my thoughts
and think of what i want...
maybe u should too...

what i did may not be something heroic
or something BIG...
but i put in alot alot...
and unfortunately,
u fail to value me the way i wanna be valued...