hidden in the dark...

Feeling super DOWN now...
yes my emotional moods starts swinging again
but this time round i feel i know why i am like this.

I gotta know something today which broke my heart so badly.
I just dunno how to explain all these and say my piece exactly how my heart feels.

There is so much so much i wanna say.
I suddenly felt so lost.
I do not know whats holding me back...
what keeps me stronger.

I know its something called love...
and i know i am too kind...

e moment i got struck,
i was asking god quietly why does such things happen to me,
i am so afraid of living in the past...
the uglyfied past which i hated myself so much

doing my best and being my best when in the end i regretted doing it and
looking back now hating myself.

I am not trying to compare...
but my past just scares me...

i always thought that besides being stubborn and hot tempered,
i am actually nice.
Thats what i think abt myself

I always feel and said that i have experience alot, seen alot
about e cruelty of mankind...
becuz i have gone thru it...

so i will never forgive myself if i make another mistake this time round...
i have already re-make my decision
time will tell all.