ANTS!~

yesterday while watchin tv, i saw an ant crawling... it gave me a gd thought abt ants and i realised hw much i hated em...

ironically it has to be e things tht happened to me...

1. i was some idiotic young sec sch gal who was ga ga over some stupid ex bf... whn i was asked to go to some faraways secluded heartland away frm my hometown AMK, to watch some shitty LION DANCE PERFORMANCE duH! And i stepped on A NEST! RED ARMY NEST! HELL~ i cld recognise my lower extremity cuz it absolutely resembles PIG TROTTERS~ i was dyin of itch and i took mc and hee skipped my hated chem test and i rem clearly MR VOO my science teacher queried why i was away i said ANT BITE... haa and he was like ANT BITE U NV COME TO SCH! Damn lor... as a science teacher, din he noe tht ant bites can be fatal!~
2. Just b4 CNY this yr, i hv been experiencing terrible red spots on my whole bod, tiny ones tht can be so itchy at times and esp affected my flawless smoothie skin (my onli smooth part is my body) wahahaha... i tot i had bed bugs and i went on huntin 4 a new bed... onli to found MY Nursing ANatomy BOOK IS FILLED W TINY FREAKIN ANTS! Thts why man~ arghhhhhhhhhhhhh
3. I simply cannot stand ANTS! They are like monsters as wad my mum always describes!~

Enough of my ant(i)...

thought over wad happened yesterday, i cant help but laugh at my silliness and childishness... i cld be at fault for throwin my tantrums but i believe i hv a reason to do so. I'm actually beri much affected by the whole incident. Being like close frens for so long a time... i m always so proud to ANNOUNCe to everyone i have reali close frens whom i hang ard since i was 13. nT TO say i still have my PRI sch best fren closely in touch...

Bringin back to a long expired comment he made. I thought over it. My fren for so long feels tht he is being used as a spare tyre. He is called upon onli whn we hv gt no one to acc... points to be argued upon... i noe this post cld be viewed as one tryin to sow discord in this supposedly thought to be STABLE frenship... But my frens i mean no harm. If u guys thinks tht i m tryin to let the whole wrld noes tht i m pitiful perharps u still dunno me... or maybe in this wrld no one actuali reali understands... i hv nv specifically mentioned to anione re: wad happened or hw it happened. I noe i was in the wrong too...

i duno if wad i m doin is enuff in this 11 yrs relationship. I make initiatives to call them... esp him. I initiate ringin him once in awhile checkin out if he is fine lately. I try to ask em out once in awhile to meet up. I TRUELY enjoyed being w em more than ani other new found frens... i feel most at ease whn i m ard em. I have nv met anione else whom i can talk freely to and express watever shit and show my ugly side to... they made me so at hm... and i m sure they feel e same too. Givin it a serious thought, have i nt done enuff to substain everything. I cld be feelin too negative abt e whole incident but it has certainly affected me to a certain great extent tht i have be upset abt it. And all e above despite wrkin in DISGUSTING shifts. I can enjoy wkends like anione else and to think i was initially happy abt meetin up so often lately perharps whn we keep to our bZ schedules we mite nt end up like this... perharps meetin up once in a blue moon, we mite treasure each other more.

we go thru alot together lately, relationship and shit... i noe he is so sad, she is so sad, we cried over it 2gether rem... i m glad its settling for him... for her, its still fresh but i believe she can. For another him... they are probably many other personal probsz tht he is experiencin and may nt say but din u feel better whn u're w us? Sigh...

i m sorry if i was wrong at first. i M SOrry for initiating all these problems... e above posts are just my thoughts... u need nt get angry for tht. If u reali do... i'm sorry for causin hurt. I thought abt others who mite be hurt over it but who noes if i m?